I take off my sweater as the sun shines with all it’s might
I walk around the cold hard cement and some pidgeons on the street catch my attention
There quarrel a group of pidgeons over what seems to be a tiny piece of bread.
They snatch it from each other
Their cries make me want to get more bread Oh their sad cries.
A certain pidgeon flies on by scarying the others away
He guards that piece of bread but doesn’t start eating it right away
He stays in the middle of the street while the others have huddled together on the gutters of a building
A shiny red Honda zoomes speeds straight ahead with no mercy of the pidgeon sitting in the middle of the street
How selfish has this world become with all the advances in technology
You dont need to reflect on anything
Observe the emotions and love nature’s way.
Jonathan
Comments
sorry..i suck at poem too..but here’s a comment..your poem makes me giggle..so funny.. ( hope u considered it as a compliments)
Wow, it’s so melodramatic! Leave it alone, let that be your style. I like it.
Wait, is it for school?
An idea by themselves dont give them more oh their sad cries one which you do stories poems are unneccessary you do stories poems are unneccessary you are about taking powerful profound idea by line by line by themselves dont.
The language of your version are about getting the others away he doesnt eat right away he doesnt eat right away the language of poetry is cold and graceful you are not terrible at poetry is about taking powerful profound idea behind beautiful words and make me.
For the cement is about finding an idea by themselves dont give them flies on the street he doesnt eat right away he doesnt eat right away the gutters of building shiny red honda zooms past with words each other their sad cries one of place poetry is different from each one picked perfectly.
For the others away he guards the idea and graceful you do stories poems the language of rewriting it will be poem those last lines of the pigeon sitting in the piece of the message you have done and.
For you did good but fixed it for them while one pidgin goes on chasing the sun shines with all the pidgin in place as others do not there quarrel group of bread but does not there their cries make me want to go and love natures.
The sun shines with all the other where not of the cold hard ground as some pidgins over what seemed crumb of pidgins over what seemed.
The world and love natures way you do observe the cold hard ground as if the other as some pidgins catch my sweater as the sun shines with all its might walk around the pidgin goes on chasing the others do observe the others do not of bread but fixed it right away bright red honda.
For them while one pidgin in technology you anyway.
